I didn't know my daughter had a penis

[edhardy92]

Q: Why don't Blondes use vibrators?A: They chip their teeth.Q: What do Blondes have against condoms?A: Their cheeks.Q: What two things in the air can get a Blonde pregnant?A: Her feet.Q: What do Blondes say after sex?A: "Are you boys all in the same band?"Q: What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms?A: Way to go team.Phoenix Coyotes jerseys storePhoenix CoyotesSan Jose Sharks jerseysThere were three mothers a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They were each looking around their daughters rooms and the brunette mom says "I found a pack of cigarettes and I didn't know my daughter smoked." The redhead mom says "I found a beer bottle and I didn't know my daughter drank." Then all the sudden the blonde mom says "I found a condom and I didn't know my daughter had a penis."( Submitted by 'alexis' )

[jklm901]

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[edhardy92]

A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", "Thanks Mom" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks,San Francisco 49ersSeattle SeahawksSt Louis Rams "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods."

[jklm901]

The Arab finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen.And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies."OK, kid, what's your second wish.""My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."***POOF***The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare goldcoins and precious gems.Wholesale ClothingWholesale ShoesChina Wholesale"OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!" Afterthinking for a few minutes, the Arab says: "I wish I were white andsurrounded by beautiful women."***POOF***The Arab is turned into a Tampax.The moral of the story is: Be careful of what you wish for. There may be astring attached.

[edhardy92]

Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?A: So she could lip read.Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?A: To turn the blinker off.Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.ugg winter bootsugg boots on salediscount ugg bootsQ: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

[edhardy92]

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."Johnny is even madder than before.Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."Wholesale ClothingWholesale ShoesChina WholesaleTeacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of thequestions.When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches wouldkeep their mouths shut!"The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"This joke is from the collection at www.usaone.net/jokenet

[jklm901]

On a cold, cold night two bulls are standing in a field. One says "Boy it's mighty cold out here!", the other says "Yes, I think I might slip into a nice Jersey".If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster. What would you have?2 ft. of my cock in your ass.Black Ugg Boots 5819 Classic CardyBlue Ugg Boots 5819 Classic CardyGray Ugg Boots 5819 Classic CardyWhat's slimy cold long and smells like porkKermit the frogs fingerwhat is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee ffuucckkiinngg tthhiinngg ooffff.What's the difference between erotic and kinky?Erotic = using a featherKinky = using the whole chickenWhy are men like cars?Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.

[jklm901]

Mickey goes to the judge after speaking to him before about getting a divorce with Minney. The judge says "I'm sorry Mickey but I couldn't find grounds for divorce for being insane. Mickey looks stunned and says "I didn't say she was insane I said she was fuc**** GoofyCream Ugg Classic Argyle Knit 5879Fig Ugg Classic Argyle Knit 5879Stout Ugg Classic Argyle Knit 5879Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?A: A clit round the ear and a flap across the faceBungee jumping is like getting a blowjob off your granny, It feels great but for christs sake don't look down.

[edhardy92]

There are 2 cowboys in the kitchen. Which one is the real cowboy?The one on the range.Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?Cut off your head.A Horse goes into a bar and the bartender says"Hey buddy, Why the Long Face"Q. Where do you find a one legged dog?A. Where you left it.Q. What's pink and fluffyA. Pink fluffGrey UGG Bailey Button BootsSand UGG Bailey Button BootsUgg Bailey Button Triplet Black Boots-1873Q. What's blue and fluffyA. Pink fluff holding it's breathTwo muffins are in the oven.One says to the other "God it's hot in here"The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"

[edhardy92]

A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."The bus driver says, "I'm not married"The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.Chocolate Brown Ugg Boots 5325 Sundance IIaustralian ugg boots ugg classic tall boots Sand Ugg Boots 5325 Sundance IIUGG Ultra Short Boots 5225 in BlackWhen they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"